April's Fools

Another of your strange 'Holidays'. Nobody gets to stay at 'home', but apparently today is a day to attack people and disguise it as funny by calling it a 'practical joke'. I youtubesed that word and found very few 'funny' videos. Most were just cruel or mean torturing of your fellow kind.

It's unfortunate that I cannot visit your reality, for I would very much enjoy stopping those out to harm others.

The Poor Girl with 'Tourettes'

I was watching some 'clips' on your 'youtubes'. I keep hearing things about little Polly's ticks. I do not understand why I cannot 'google' more information on her illness. But I did find out about what 'ticks' were, and I have 'concluded' that poor little Polly has 'Tourettes'. Which would explain all the talk about 'Polly ticks'.

I hope someone sets up a 'fund' for her and her family to cure her, and people stop speaking as if war, and laws had anything to do with her.

Another curious observation

I am quite pleased today! I have been accepted into the 'cabinet' (it's not a real cabinet, and I was not locked in) of the leading person in what you would call our 'election'. The 'election' still has a while to take place, but, I am on their 'team'.

I am so very excited, and now I know all my schooling did me well.

'Cannibalism'

I am 'shocked'! I have just found out that your people are cannibals! And that a company that has 'star' 'bucks' (I can only guess that these are space deer) feeds you other people! I don't understand why you want to 'consume' a cup of a human named 'Joe'! Does every one of your kind with that name get sacrificed?!

I am sure to be in mourning over the loss of 'Joe' for 'some time'...

What is 'porno'?

I don't understand why there are far more 'pictures' of your kind 'naked' than not in the 'internets'. And why wouldn't you just stay 'naked' everywhere you go, for it seems most want to...

'Valentine's Day'

So, today is what you call a 'holiday'. From what I know on the definition of holiday, it's a 'vacation', however this is another such 'holiday' of yours that you spend 'days' and 'hours', and use your 'monies', to 'purchase' things for others that usually do not 'endure', and are likely to be something that they did not want. Also, it 'strikes me as odd' (this 'Odd' fellow did not literally strike me, of course) that you have more days that are considered 'holidays' than you have days off from your 'work'.

What is the point of calling something a 'holiday' when you still have 'to go to work'?

Another day

So i've been using the 'internets' for 'some time now'. A lot of people are on here, and I get easily confused as to what they are 'saying'. Whats an 'intarwebs'? How does one get their 'face' in a 'book'? Why aren't more people concerned about their 'live journal' walking away? Any why do you all need your own 'space'.

My schooling in languages and cultures did not prepare me for this...